


#SurvivingGotham

by S058



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Blogging, Gen, Gotham City - Freeform, Gotham City Police Department, POV Outsider, Social Media
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:00:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22306825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S058/pseuds/S058
Summary: A blog revolving around everyday struggles in Gotham, and one random blogger's attempts to warn newcomers about Gotham's unique struggles.
Comments: 23
Kudos: 234





	1. Fashion

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [#gotham is trending](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12331965) by [helenabertinellis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/helenabertinellis/pseuds/helenabertinellis). 



** #SurvivingGotham: **

Hello and welcome to yet another exciting installation of Welcome to Gotham, the unofficial blog run by a longtime resident of this fair city to make sure all you newcomers survive your time in the City of Crime. Today, we’ll be addressing fashion, and what NOT to wear.

  * Purple in any way shape or form- No. Literally no. You’ll be lucky if you only Trigger someone’s memories of a certain Clown and cause a panic attack. If you’re unlucky, someone’ll assume you’re a supporter of him, and proceed to beat the shit out of you, and good luck getting GCPD to find your attacker. And if for some reason you really are unlucky, you’ll run into an actual supporter of him and he’ll be very offended at that. Seriously, purple is the color of death around here, don’t wear it. 
    * Now, before any smartasses in the comments section bring up Spoiler, first off, she wears _eggplant_ , not purple. Secondly, it’s a debated topic amongst my friends whether or not she should consider a less triggering color. As she’s been around awhile, I give her a pass.
  * Clown makeup- OK, if purple wasn’t a viable option, what makes you think clown makeup is remotely a good idea? 
    * We don’t even really have party clowns any more, because they literally kept getting mobbed and or shot by twitchy cops and bystanders. Seriously, wear the red nose at your own risk.
  * Purple & Clown makeup- OK, you know what? Go nuts! Obviously, the gene-pool doesn’t need you hanging around it any longer, so just go right ahead and wear it. Bonus points if you run into the Narrows while wearing the outfit in question.
  * Purses with spaghetti straps- Feel free to, but you’re going have it stolen before you pass the first block.
  * Blonde hair- Yeah no, Mad Hatter likes blondes. Better to just avoid any issues and dye your hair or get a wig. 
    * Blue dresses are right out.
  * Dates- We have a supervillain who has a entire habit of starting shit on holidays.
  * High heels- Bad idea. You might have to run from a supervillain, and you don’t want to trip while running from Killer Croc.
  * Fanny Packs- This won’t trigger anyone, but they’re just tacky. 
    * Plus, they also say you’re basically a tourist, and should be price gouged and or mugged at your first chance.
  * Two toned clothes- We have a supervillain who is themed around two and everything related to it.
  * Green and plant themed items- This one is kinda iffy. Ivy has a complicated relationship with the public, and it also depends on who sees it. Best to just avoid the whole issue.
  * Masks- Black Mask’s entire schtick is based around masks. Plus, someone might assume you’re out to pull a heist, or are leaving from one.
  * Metropolis merchandise- Gotham and Metropolis have a big rivalry going on, so I wouldn’t advise wearing it. At the very least, you’ll never get a taxi or Uber.
  * Shiny bling - Sure, advertise you allegedly have cash, or actually have cash. In Gotham. Go right ahead. 
    * Name brand clothes also fall under this category as well, along with anything that visibly shows off your wealth.




	2. Chapter 2

**#SurvivingGotham:**

Thank you very much for the feedback and reception! When I started the blog, I wasn't sure how well it'd be received. Now for the other side of the coin, what clothes you can wear in Gotham.

• Bat-family merchandise. Seriously, it’s our most positive claim to fame, and with Wayne Enterprises coming up with some sorta sweetheart deal, it even goes to help fund the Batfamily. Allegedly.  
o Granted, some old timers swear by the scalper versions you can get off the street, and there’s been jokes that within hours of a superhero or heroine premiering in Gotham, their merchandise has already hit the streets.  
 Food trucks with one or more logos of the Batfamily [LINK] on the menus are frequented and recommended by them personally. It’s also ill advised to rob them, because if you’re lucky, you only get the crap smacked out of you by the staff. If not, then the Batfamily come by. And God help you if you touch anything with the Red Hood sigil on it.  
• Cheap and or easy to remove jewelry. It’s a quick and easy way to get a mugger off your back if you have some cheap but fancy looking pearls you can easily remove, in theory.  
o Also implied, make sure it’s not something you’re particularly attached to. Great Aunt Lil’s ring should stay in the safety deposit box, because our fences are not gonna even look at the hot sheets unless they have to.  
• Comfortable, yet easy to run in shoes and boots are a must have. Again, outrunning Croc in stilettoes isn’t likely to happen, that one executive’s experience to the contrary.  
o Yes, that happened, and it got caught on video. [LINK] She even blogged about it, got some rave memes made about her. [LINK]  
• Gotham themed tourist shirts are a kinda greyish area. On one hand, you’ll be singled out as a newcomer or just having bad taste, but at the same time, you’re also showing your Gotham pride and toughness, so it can depend on the day and area in question.  
• Bludhaven merchandise is also an iffy grey area. On one hand, she’s our sister city in crime, but at the same time, there’s always been a sense of her trying to be just as cool, if not as cooler as us.  
• Wayne Enterprises branded clothes. Wayne has his fingers in everything, so the clothes were only a matter of time. Most often, you’ll find homeless people wearing them, because WE hands them out around the major holidays, but at the same time, WE employs a lotta people, and offers second chances to convicts, so odds are you’ll avoid some muggers.  
• Law enforcement merchandise. Another grey area, because while the city isn’t as bad as it was in the Bad Ole Days, well, it’s still a shithole at times. On one hand, it might deter a mugger for fear of trying to jump some GCPD plainclothes detective, but it also might get you jumped by some False Face Society goons out to earn their bones.  
• Good winter coats. Gotham’s a notoriously cold city, in part due to Dr. Freeze living here and popping off his weapons on a large scale somewhat regularly, and in part because we are just naturally cold in more then one sense of the word.  
• Iceberg Lounge merchandise. Gotham’s hottest nightclub merchandise will get you some stares, but at the same time, they do make a very nice hoodie that actually looks classy and keeps you comfortable. Bit pricey though, so keep that in mind.  
• I forgot to mention this earlier, but hats are to be taken off indoors, period. No exceptions. Unless you look like you tried French kissing a lawnmower blade, the hat comes off once inside, because Gotham has a villain who loves using mind control hats.  
• Gas masks.  
o Yes, plural. You want one for the car, one for home, and one for on you at all times. And no, I’m not talking one of those cheap respirators you get when painting. Our city has way too many villains who like aerosol based chemical weapon attacks.  
 As luck would have it, Wayne Enterprises has a deal where if you can prove residency in Gotham with say, a letter or driver’s license, you get a free mask, some filters, and a tough carrying case.  
• Customizing your gas mask is a sign that you’ve lived too long in Gotham, or just are too used to it.  
• KEEP A EYE ON IT AT ALL TIMES. Joker’s been known to sabotage filters and then cause a panic leading to them being put on, and oh look, the filters dispense Smilex.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by helenabertinellis's work "#gotham is trending", and just got into my head.
> 
> Suggestions for future chapters are appreciated, and as always, please leave a review.


End file.
